


Until the End

by verona_rupes



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Let Them Talk, M/M, they needed to have a conversation so badly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26140378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verona_rupes/pseuds/verona_rupes
Summary: Martin and John have a much-needed conversation and come to a mutual understanding.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	Until the End

**Author's Note:**

> This contains spoilers through episode 175 of Season 5.

John and Martin slowly, deliberately stepped through the wasteland of debris that carpeted the Extinction's domain. The smell of decay mingled with the soured salt of the ocean to form sharp, pungent air that cut at their lungs.

Despite following a few steps behind, it was obvious to Martin that John was wholly concentrated on suppressing the Eye's description of this place. He looked a little too focused on the steps in front of him, breathed the polluted air a little too deeply. And he moved... naturally. Not just the careful steps that were necessary to avoid a pool of sludge or to find a solid foothold amid rusted metal scraps. It was subtle, but John looked secure, almost confident, like he was meant to be here. He fit -- reminders of that fact filled Martin's heart with the same sharp pain that filled his lungs.

Martin didn't fit any of this twisted world, and by all rights John shouldn't either. It was only a cruel twist of fate that brought them here, where neither of them ever wanted to be. This was John's world now. And John was Martin's world. Martin's world, whom he had to watch slowly be consumed with every domain they passed through. 

John was nearly overflowing with the Eye's statement, but he pushed it down once again as Martin overflowed from the silence first. He had to break it to keep their connection to each other stronger than their connection to fear.

"John, I think I'm getting a little tired. I'd like to have a bit of a rest."

John stopped short, and almost imperceptibly jumped at the sound of Martin's voice pulling him into the present. He turned around, a few curls of loose hair falling from his bun, and all his eyes softened their gaze on Martin. "Martin, a rest won't make this journey any shorter or easier. It's n-"

"I - I know it won't." Martin spoke quickly. "The distances we walk don't make any sense, and I want to rest but I know I'm not even tired. At least not physically. I just - I just want a break. We're taking a break." 

John signed and closed his eyes for a moment, and only his brown two opened when he looked up again. "Alright. Not much of a spot for a rest though," he gestured vaguely around them at piles of torn fabric and rusted appliances, all covered with the festering sheen of the Extinction.

"Mm. What I wouldn't give for a couch. There's all sorts of junk, you'd think there'd be a rotten couch somewhere to take a breather at."

John laughed lightly, and the sound settled over Martin like sunlight. "There's all sorts of items in this place. Let's see, just around us now, there's..." John's brown eyes closed as dozens of bright green ones reopened in a ripple like scales across his skin. The Watcher's Crown that circled his head since the world changed began to spin. It had always reminded Martin of ofanim. "Item: a shattered mirror. The frame was once ornately carved wood, but has gone rotten around the edges, creeping inwards. The largest p-" 

"-John, not now. Not yet," Martin almost pleaded.

"-piece still in the frame is jagged around the edges from an old impact-"

"John!" At a loss for what else to do, Martin embraced John, and to his surprise John's sentence cut off. "John. Stay with me." 

With John's face buried in Martin's chest and Martin's in John's hair, even the stench of the Extinction was dulled. They each took several deep breaths, their embrace causing them to breathe in sync.

"Sometimes, when you just - just slip into statements like that when we talk, it makes me nervous. I get that you have to do it, I know, and that you can't really control it anymore. It's just... you belong here now, and when you do that, I'm the only person who doesn't fit here. I'm alone."

John shifted out of the hug to look up at Martin, hands still resting on his chest. Martin's breath started to shake as words poured out. 

"And the longer we go, the worse it's getting. I know you feel it too. You're getting closer to the Eye. It's not just the Watcher's Crown around your head anymore. The closer we get to the Panopticon... there are moments, especially when you're making your statements, when I almost don't recognize you. And it makes me afraid." 

"Martin, I-"

"No, wait. I'm not done.” Martin straightened up slightly, gaining confidence as he shared what he held in for so long. “It makes me afraid that you're slipping away when you're right in front of me. And that's what the Eye wants, right? My fear? And I know this is awful, but it makes me wonder sometimes, when I talk to you... Am I talking to you, or to the Eye?"

John gave a dry laugh. "Is there even a difference anymore?"

"Of course there's a difference," Martin said, voice hard.

"I'm not so sure," said John, stepping back. "I'm sorry we haven't been taking many breaks. And I know that I haven't... I know that I don't really... talk about this. But that's why, Martin. I know that it's getting stronger, and the only thing to do is go forward while we still can." 

"But what does that _mean_ , John? Please try to say something that isn't just cryptic and... and _spooky._ " 

Martin's use of the word may have broken the tension between them if there wasn't so much left unsaid. They stared at one another for a moment, and John's eyes flashed. 

"Martin, I know _everything_. I know that there's no way the world can go back to the way it was. I know that the mirror ten yards from us is about three feet tall and broken into exactly one hundred and seventy six pieces. And I know that I won't be able to hold the door in my mind closed forever." John's breath was shaking now, something Martin rarely heard before the world broke.

"And I don't need the Eye to know that the longer you watch me try, the more afraid you are. I hate how _right_ your fear feels. You're the last person here who isn't a monster nor a victim, and we can't just sit and - and _talk_ about this over tea, because you don't want to hear that there was _never any hope_ for this journey."

Martin's eyes filled. "You don't mean that." 

"Of course I do, Martin. There's no hope. We’ll keep moving forward anyways, but you have to understand how this will end." 

"I know, John! I - I've always known,” Martin took John’s hand in his own. “I just don't want to be alone _before_ it goes that way. You're still here, now. And we're together. And as long as that's true, I don't want you to act like this is over until it actually is. We couldn't stop the things we've touched from following us into this world, but we can delay the rest of it. Just as long as we move forward. Please. Don't leave me alone just yet."

"You're... you're right. I'm sorry.” John squeezed Martin’s hand and looked down at it. “I'm glad you're here with me, Martin, at the end."

"Not quite the end. Not as long as we move forward. Together."

John nodded and met Martin’s wet eyes with a faint smile. A hesitant, but genuine smile. 

"Together. Until the end."

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to a friend who helped me proofread - thanks Annie!


End file.
